Are you comparing yourself to an impossible ideal?

I recently read The Gap and The Gain by Dan Sullivan and Benjamin Hardy, and I now recommend it to everyone! The book is written primarily for entrepreneurs, but if you are an author, you are a small business owner once you publish a book. Besides, the lessons are impactful for anyone at any stage of life. Hardy writes extensively about how looking at gains vs. gaps helps him be a better father. And he has SIX children! 

Often, my clients get into comparison mode after reading an excellent book, falling into the social media scroll hole, or hearing about someone else's success. Too often, as Sullivan and Hardy explain in the book, we compare our current situations to IDEAL situations, which, by the way, are mostly unattainable. Instead, we should "measure backward" to see how far we have come. 

Try this process right now and see how your confidence immediately increases. On a piece of paper, use paragraphs, brain dump notes, or jot down bullet points. Choose any part of your life. For example, use a fitness goal, a book writing goal, a personal challenge, or a work situation. The point is for you to look at situations differently to see the gains, not the gaps, so that you can move forward with more joy.

• Describe how much you knew 3 years ago about the topic or issue. 
• Describe what you have accomplished (no gain is too small) in the past 3 years.
• Describe what you have accomplished in the past year.
• Describe what you have accomplished in the 3 months.
• Describe what you have accomplished in the last month.

List three WINS from yesterday (if you are doing this in the morning) or today (if you are doing this in the afternoon/evening) around your topic.

For an example, I will do the exercise and focus on the topic of online courses that I create for authors:

• Three years ago, I thought online courses were for businesses to train employees or for schools during Covid. In other words, I was clueless!!!
• In the last 3 years, I have learned, thanks to TAKING AN ONLINE COURSE, how to write, deliver, and sell courses.
• In the last year, I have created beta versions for two courses: Self-Publish Your Book! and Write Your Book!
• In the last three months, with lots of help from my team and coaches, I have revised and automated my online course Write Your Book! and it is top notch.
• In the last month, I have revised the process so that writers can buy it online and begin the course immediately with ease.
• Yesterday, I recorded a few social media videos that will help me share news of the course and invite people to sign up.

Three years ago, I was clueless. Ha! I took countless TINY steps to get to where I am today. My "ideal" situation is to have multiple courses created, recorded, loaded to my website, and reaching people through social media that I have curated and polished. My ideal situation is to help THOUSANDS of aspiring authors. If I look at the ideal situation, I may get overwhelmed or mad that I'm not there yet. Maybe I will feel like a failure. BUT, if I look at my list of gains, I am proud, encouraged, and motivated to keep striving toward my goal. 

I hope this exercise benefits you, and I hope you know that I see your gains already!

If you’d like to learn how to start and keep writing, CLICK HERE!

HAPPY WRITING!

Jody

P.S. If you decide to read The Gap and The Gain, I suggest you listen to the audiobook because the authors talk after each chapter to explore more ideas. 

On a TOUGH hike in the Smokies, I had to struggle as much mentally as I did physically to get to the end of the trail, but I remember the lesson of gain over gap. 

I made it to Rocky Top! This hike was on my parents' anniversary, so I carried their photo with me. After six miles up hill (and I mean UP all the way), I was exhausted and tearful. The hiking group enjoyed ukelele music, snacks, and bourbon before heading six miles back downhill. Always stop and celebrate!